Saturday, June 26, 2010

What does Independence Day mean to You?

What does Independence Day mean to you?  Why is the 4th of July so important to you and your family?

I have to admit that when this holiday happens I rarely think of what being independent really means.  Most Americans take our rights for granted because we have always had them.  People who come from countries that don't have the same rights, especially for women, appreciate what they have here more.  As an American woman it's hard to believe that there are countries where women are treated no better than slaves.  Here we have the right to do what we want (if we have the money).  We can go to school.  We can have as many kids as we want.  We can worship God with out persicusion.  We can work outside of the home.  We can live in a good home.

All these things we take for granted.  Lately with the economic downturn some of these rights (ie.  we can live in a good home), haven't been so easy to keep.  I know of several people that have had their houses foreclosed on them.  One of them had to move to a smaller rental till they could get their credit restored in three years.

  If you have pets it makes it especially harder to find a home.  I have two cats and I know that if I had to move I'd have a hard time finding a place that would let me keep them.  I have made great sacrifices so that my daughter can stay in a good area, so that she can go to good schools.  I know that if it wasn't for my living situation I'd have to live with relatives and then I'd loose another type of independence.  I was raised to take care of myself. 

Shortly after I got married, in my late 20's, I went back to college because I wanted to be an elementary school teacher.  After 4 years in college I had my Bachelors degree and my teaching credential.  I taught 2nd grade for a year.  I took a few years off to stay home with my daughter and subbed for a few years.  Then I started to get weak and was unable to walk a long way easily.  I was diagnosed in 2006 with Fibromyalgia.  I had to quit teaching.  I'm aware that many people can continue to work with fibro, but I was very ill and had to recouperate.  I can never be cured but I can go into remission, which means I'm symptom free.  Now I'm suppose to work on being healthier.  Unfortunately fibro is affected by stress and I've been under a lot of stress, especially the past six months.

When my daughter was three my husband and I ended being a couple.  I thought I could move out, with a roommate, from my husband.  Since I got ill I can't afford to live on my own.  That is why I'd have to move in with family.  As much as I love my family I know this would be emotional suicide for me.  Right now my daughter's dad and I have chosen to stay in our house till she graduates from High School, in 2016.  He moved into the office and I still have the master bedroom.  This has been a difficult decision but we can't afford to get a divorce now.  We don't care if other people don't approve because we are trying to do the best thing for our daughter.  We live in an expensive area and we can't afford to have two households.  What I will do when my daughter graduates? I don't know.  I'm hoping that my health is better and I'll be able to return to work.  I really want to be independent again.

There is that word again- Independence.  As an American I took it for granted.  As a young adult I stuggled but I was still able to make it on my own (with a roommate).  Even as a young wife I felt independent because I was planning a good future.  When I realized how ill I was it put me in a position of dependence.  Now it's time for me to get health again so that I can regain my life as an independent woman.

The Graphics FairyThanks to Graphic Fairy for Lady Liberty
Thanks to Graphic Fairy for Lady Liberty


S.I.F. said...

I think it is incredible what you and your husband are doing for your daughter - seriously admirable. I wish more couples would look at what was in the best interest of their child when going through a divorce. I truly hope you can continue to make the situation work for her sake. It probably means so much to her to still have her mom and dad under one roof!

Kat from California said...

Thanks for your show of support. Many people tell me that I'm having my cake and eat it too, but that is soooo not true. We each live our own lives and take time to be with her alone. He and his friend took my daughter and her BFF to a Rave in Los Angeles called Electric Daisy Carnival. They stuck out like a sore thumb and when the young people asked what they are doing there they said keeping an eye on our daughters. At 12 and 13 the two girls need keeping track